HoW To Do A RunNEr
So what the hell does that mean, exactly? Do a runner?
Well, it's when you leave your crappy position at a language school in the middle of the night, or on your day off perhaps, without telling anyone that you're going.
Hey, it's the usual thing to do.
Now why would that be? Wouldn't it be more satisfying to go tell your DOS that he's a tit-rag, kick the owner in the nuts and then take a piss on the front desk and go out in a blaze of glory?
Well, maybe, but, the potential for getting stuck in a cruddy third-world jail aside, there are usually some good reasons why this isn't feasible.
You see, a lot of schools have ways to punish teachers who break their contracts. The most common is "payment in arrears." This of course means that you get paid two weeks or so AFTER the time you're getting paid for, if, of course, you're continuing to toe the line like a good little internet geek. A few more crafty ones have something like a "mandatory savings program" in which a chunk of your salary -- perhaps a considerable one -- will be taken out every month and only returned to you when you finish the contract. Then maybe they can fuck with your visa, too. Who knows. Most language-school owners are Wannabe Gangsters, no doubt.
So, if you perform some office hysterics, satisfying as it may be, it'll probably cost you.
Thus, if you are bound by a contract, or are simply the non-confrontational type, consider the time-honored English teacher tradition when things get rough, when the weight of all the shit on your back gets to be too much --
run out the back door when nobody's looking. DO A RUNNER!
Some general advice:
DO:
Leave early in the morning, preferably on a weekend. Make your travel arrangements in advance, so that you don't have the embarrassing experience of hauling all your bags down to the train station to make your grand escape and finding out that all the trains are booked up that day.
DON'T:
Tell anyone. Even the other teachers. Especially the other teachers. Even if you're in tight with them, somebody could let something slip, or somebody could overhear something. And dear God, of course you shouldn't tell the students. Nobody will stab you in the back faster. Also beware of spies in your apartment building who might see you going out with all your bags, thought these are fortunately unlikely.
DO:
Get an advance on your salary. This isn't always possible, but sometimes it is. Complain of some sudden unexpected expense, like dental problems. The amount you can get advanced probably won't equal the amount you'll lose from your lost "salary in arrears" or "mandatory savings" but you can try. Some teachers borrow money from the DOS or owner personally. Hey, give it a shot. Some borrow money from other teachers. These types usually are asswipes who need a serious whupping, but of course ethics is largely a situational thing in the world of TEFL.
DON'T:
Telegraph your plans. Don't start making obviously suspicious moves, like closing out your bank accounts, sending out a lot of faxes to schools in other countries, or spending a lot of time re-writing your resume on the office computer. Believe me, the secretaries in most schools will have sharp eyes, and somebody will notice if you're spending a lot of time on "www.tefljobsearch.com" or "www.perfectresume.com" on the school's internet. Remember, there's no such thing as paranoia in the world of TEFL. Everybody really is out to get you.
DO:
Run up a huge telephone bill. This will, again, help recoup the losses from your arreared salary and such. Might be the perfect time to give that chick you met in AUstrailia a call for a few hours. Be careful of the times the bills arrive though, make sure the $430 phone bill doesn't arrive two days before you're planning to leave, for example. That'll be you snookered, no doubt.
DON'T:
Go start working at another school down the street. It's likely you'll end up in big problems doing that, especially if you have a legal working visa. Generally, if you're going to do a runner, you should be leaving the country. There are exceptions to this one of course, but that's a rule of thumb for you.
DO:
Steal some stuff from the office. Although don't steal textbooks. A lot of people do that, for some reason, and almost never end up using the stupid things. It'll just take up space in your bag. Dictionaries are good, and pens are always useful.
DON'T:
Tell anybody you got the idea from English Teacher X.
Good luck baby.