KASe STUDy: ENGLiSH TeACHER M2
English Teacher M2 tells us about teaching in Europe, east and west, and extols the virtues of Eastern European women. If indeed, "virtue" is the right word.
> How long have you been teaching, and where?
About 4 years now. I've
taught in Switzerland, the Baltics, the USA, Portugal, and Italy.
> Which place did you like the best, and why?
Definitely the Baltics. The
standard of living may be low (ugly, hastily-built concrete buildings, crap
roads, decrepit buses, low wages and dodgy ape-like thugs galore) but it's
*different*. Much more so than anywhere in Western Europe. Italy may be special
in its own right but overall the standard of living there isn't far off from
what you'll find in the UK/USA. Eastern Europe, however...
You never know what you'll see when you come around a corner--a babushka selling
mushrooms, 70 year old pensioners shoveling snow at 7AM in the morning, a
drunk passed out on the sidewalk (or your doorstep), someone performing an
impromptu car repair in the middle of a busy road--if it's a unique experience
you're after, you can pretty much guarantee that most *everything* will be
different there compared to back
home.
Also, as a foreigner in these areas you are much more of a rarity than, say, a
Brit in France, or an American in Spain, so you may find people more interested
in you simply cos of that. As much as I'd like people to be interested in me
simply because I am
(or think I am) an interesting, friendly guy, never underestimate the advantage
of being a foreigner (at least when it comes to getting a shag).
> Which place has afforded you the best quality of living?
In terms of day-to-day comforts, definitely Switzerland; at least in the
west there's good
transportation, an abundance of food and drink from different regions of
Switzerland and surrounding countries. And the water didn't come out brown. And
air pollution was uncommon, unlike Italy.
In terms of having some job security and having money to blow *within* the
country, eastern Europe was better; not that I made a lot of money there but
what
I had seemed to go a little further (and was significantly higher than local
salaries), and things like vacations (given the low cost of hotels,
transportation, food, etc) were actually within reach. I guess if you got steady
work in western Europe you might be better off, but there are not as many
schools that give you contracts, whereas in eastern Europe
it's pretty common.
> Which place was best in terms of getting laid?
Definitely the Baltics (and
probably many other parts of eastern Europe). Like I said, being a foreigner
gives you a certain allure with the local women, be it as a potential ticket
out, an unusual short-term romance, an interesting new friend, or the chance to
lose their virginity to someone who's not a local.
Local women may often run into foreign tourists in their town who are looking
for booty, but if you actually *live* there you have a huge advantage. So be
sure to make that known when you meet someone. And if you can pick up a bit of
the language, your chances will increase even more--an old housemate of mine (UK
native) spoke some of the local language and used it to great success on the
local women.
As ETX can attest, whether you like it or not most of your action will likely
come from the younger, 17-22ish crowd; any older that that and they are likely
married (um, not that that means a whole lot in some places). And really, if
you're a male TEFLer and
looking for a shag, it's all about the local student population-they'll be more
interesting to talk to than the tarts you'll find at a bar (or perhaps one and
the same), speak passable English, will want to practice their English (and what
better way then by hanging out
with you?), and quite eager to meet someone new and exciting. Find where the
students hang out, meet people, and start shagging. And get a mobile phone,
already.
> What's the best thing about dating/sleeping with foreign women?
They are hot, just
beautiful--slim, well-dressed, and attractive. True, Russian-style fashion can
be a bit too much at time (enough with the animal prints, already!) but at least
the women don't go out dressed like they've been painting the kitchen. There are
so
many attractive women that they are almost common, and you end up with fewer
snobbish types, unlike back home.
> What's the worst thing about dating/sleeping with foreign women?
The language barrier can be
a pain--dates can end up feeling like a placement interview ("So, what did you
do last week?" "Tell me about your family" "I'd like you to look at this picture
and tell me what you see"...oh wait...)Yet at the same time the impossibility of
a conversation leaves you with the tried and true alternatives of getting drunk
and/or
shagging.
> What's been the most useful possession to have abroad?
Lugging a laptop around was useful for music and emailing and writing purposes (but most schools have free PC/web access anyway). A digital camera is handy but don't flash it around.
But the most useful gadget has definitely been a mobile phone. Get one upon arrival if you plan on staying for anything longer than a month. It will make life much much easier, and you'll have not only a place to instantly write down that girl's number, but an alarm clock, calendar and notepad all in one. Europeans east and west are into text messages in a BIG way. I can't tell you how much my mobile helped me hook up--booty calls, booty messages, booty reminders, calling for taxis before and after booty calls, etc. Whether you spend $10 or $100, it's money well spent.
>I wholeheartedly agree. My social life improved dramatically after getting one. Girls who would never call you will send you a text message no problem. In which place were the students the most thankless and difficult to teach?
Actually I've been pretty luck that way--most students have been hard-working and friendly, overall. Had a few difficult students here and there but nothing unusual and nothing I could blame on national character. In fact most of my students in eastern Europe were quite motivated, as they were spending loads of money on a course and therefore determined to work hard.
Russian students, well, they
can be a pain in the ass--I've come across quite a few grammar hags who know
grammar inside out, but have trouble stringing together a proper sentence. I
know that in many parts of Germany companies have this terrible habit of running
classes once a week for 1.5 hours; the next week the students have forgotten
almost everything and your job can seem completely pointless.
> Have any particularly harrowing stories you'd like to share?
Um, does a pregnancy scare count? The thought of an unplanned-for child, and a lifetime spent in a country I hadn't planned on staying in more than a year frightened me enough to put me off of casual sex for quite some time after. Otherwise, I tend to keep a pretty low profile when out and about and thus avoided, say, thugs looking to cause trouble.
Oh yeah, I got frostbite
once, during my first eastern European winter. That was a bit scary, but luckily
I didn't have to have any appendages lopped off. And riding in
a car in Russia--definitely in the top 5 list of things that can make you shit
your pants.
> What's your favorite way to kill ten minutes or so with a difficult class?
Review some vocabulary,
write up some mistakes from previous classes on the board and see if they can
still correct them, write a few sentences like "English teacher X/get
drunk/weekend" or "ETX/get drunk/want shag/girlfriend/leave" for higher level
classes, and have them make a full sentence out of it; they'll come up with all
sorts of errors you can work off of.
> Which country had the dodgiest EFL scene?
Italy by far. Though I found
some good, reputable schools, I also found loads of schools that don't give a
damn about their teachers, pay late, and promise much more than they deliver. If
you want a certain amount of job security and a guaranteed unique experience,
forget about Spain, Italy, etc and head for eastern Europe. And don't forget
your long
underwear.
> What are your plans for the future?
Finish up this academic year
and decide what the fuck to do next--either finally get out of TEFL and get a
proper job with a decent salary, benefits, (paid) vacation, and a potential
lifetime of corporate/office drudgery, or stay in EFL and suffer the
consequences,
while travelling the world, shagging hot foreign women, and keeping out of the
way of large, drunken thugs.
BaCk To MAIN MEnU