CHECkLiSt For PoTENtIaL TEaCHinG AppLiCanTS
www.englishteacherx.com is shocked and horrified, but proud to be the first to bring you this recently obtained document, which reveals that our deepest fears about the dishonesty of DOS's and Academic Managers and EFL schools in general are true, all too true.
THIS DOCUMENT is an authentic transcription of a checklist for potential applicants provided to interviewing DOS's at a MAJOR language school chain.
Read on to see just what their standards really are.
But be warned: what your are about to read may be extremely disturbing to you.
XXXXX XXXXX LANGUAGE SCHOOL
CHECKLIST FOR POTENTIAL APPLICANTS
Please write YES or NO for each line.
1. _______ Is the applicant neatly dressed?
2. _______ Does the applicant have a TEFL certificate?
3. _______ Did applicant speak in a remotely comprehensible accent?
4. _______ Was the applicant stupid enough to pay full price for a CELTA or other major certificate?
5. _______ Is the applicant's obviously fake photocopied certificate good enough to fool the people who issue work permits?
6. _______ Is the applicant young and inexperienced enough that he/ she can be easily pushed around?
7. _______ Is the applicant old and beaten enough that he/she can be easily pushed around?
8. _______ Was the applicant slightly more attractive than a bag of dead cats?
9. _______ Does the applicant have some kind of baggage, for example a local spouse and child, that will allow him / her to be easily pushed around?
10. ______ Was applicant not too obviously drunk?
11. ______ Was the applicant attractive and outgoing enough that students will like him / her despite the fact that he's an inexperienced idiot who can't tell a verb from a vowel?
12. ______ Was applicant not obviously schizophrenic?
13. ______ Was applicant computer illiterate enough that he/ she won't know how to post bad things about us on the Internet?
14. ______ Did applicant look stupid enough to believe any damn irrational lie we tell him or her, and desperate enough for employment that he / she wouldn't bitch about our low salary, cruddy apartments, and appalling working hours?
15. ______Is applicant on the run from debts, a bad marriage, the police, etc, so that he / she could be easily pushed around?
CONCLUSIONS:
1 - 5 YES ANSWERS -- Candidate is unacceptable
5- 10 YES ANSWERS -- Possible candidate.
10 - 15 YES ANSWERS -- Hire candidate on the spot.
And remember. You heard it here first.