KASe STUdY: ENGLiSH TeACHEr L
Yet another feminine perspective on the job, from an eight-year veteran who has braved Poland, Russia and Japan, and is now teaching the towel-headed terrorist fodder to learn English over in Syria. Man, hope they don't sneak into OUR countries with what she teaches them, and blow something up!!
Where have you taught and for how long?
I began in Japan after a somewhat odd interview for one of the major branch eikawa schools
Great to escape the life blood sucking temping trap but after a few months felt that it was another office job but of a slightly more stimulating ilk....though teaching a load of depressed and oppressed housewives, high school kids with all their energy surgically removed and burnt - out and sexist "sarariman" with their two-third, one third haircuts, my claim is rather debatable.
Got a qualification by an eminent figure on Dave's ESL before he disassociated himself from Trinty - ended up in Warsaw for 2 and a half years - high times but shite schools, moved onto Moscow for 3 years where I became the DOS (more about that later) and now in Damascus working for what might be considered a professional EFL job, which is the cutural attache of the British Embassy. In all - almost 8 years.
What are your living conditions like now?
Quite divine.........thankfully the landlord lives in Saudi Arabia so any thing I do in there which is "haram" or the behaviour of the infidel is never seen. Unlike some of my fellow teachers who have the veiled owner underneath who will interfere at any "unacceptable conduct".
Hot water, satellite TV, and a great sun
terrace which overlooks the city.....and I've learnt to sleep through the call
to prayer and the noisy primary school.....Am I going back to England to a
shoe box and with flatmates...hhhmmmm.......
What's your favorite way to kill ten minutes in class?
Error correction and world building which I always
justify as a student-language generated activity........the good thing about
being surrounded with people with DELTAs is that the time fillers and the
winging that all of us do actually have names and methodological
justifications! Scott Thornbury probably has a name for "hangman"
Who have been your most venal and incompetent employers?
Different reasons for a few......
The big name eikawa in Japan....for the shocking churning out of lessons, appearance before any teaching nous, like I wasn't allowed to level check at all which is a 30 minute skive because I haven't got blonde hair and blue eyes.
One school in Warsaw where the profits from the school went to the evil director's fat farm and plastic surgery fees...lost that job eventually and had my lessons taken over by some loser whose pedagogical achievement was to bone at least one student during the enforced socialization at the end of term (and most of the women teachers for that matter.)
Another big chain school for the intern
scheme which crystallizes the whole idea that this isn't a professional
job.........and not having my DOS position really taken that seriously by both
teachers, senior management or Russian management.
Any particularly horrifying stories you'd like to share with us?
Having my salary nicked not once but twice in both Poland and in Syria.......
Being locked out of my flat by evil neighbours in Moscow because they were anti-foreign bitches.
Having a fight with my Russian ex-boyfriend over some Ukrainian tart which resulted in a 10 day stay in a Russian hospital which mild septaseamia.
Vomitting on one of my teachers (I was his DOS and his ex-girlfriend) after finding out he was with one of the worse specimens of the intern scheme. To make it worse, I was dressed as Miss Taliban for a Halloween party. Let's say it took time to re-establish some professional credibility after that....
What's the best or worst experience you've had?
Best experience was landing this job as it was a
chance to escape my bollocks DOS job and get some real money and respect . . .
the worst was leaving Moscow which despite the bolloxology of the job, I had
met some pretty twisted partners in crime there who are irreplaceable
Which place did you like or hate the most?
I hate this question.....my students always ask me this with hopeful expectant looks.....so I'm going to give you an overview of the worst aspects of the countries I've taught in...
Japan annoyed me after a while...cultural arrogance.
Snotty teenagers in Warsaw galore....
The arrogance of Russian language learners telling ME how to speak English despite my efforts to tell them that this is Sovietlish.....
Political wobbliness and horrid pervy lads in Damascus.
What are your colleagues like where you are now?
Despite the rather stuffy image of my current
place of work of vicars and matrons, everyone's actually really quite a good
laugh, the local staff see you as a professional not some dredged up
backpacker who is using their country for cheap booze and shagging exotic
birds
What would you like to do in the future?
In the words of one of the TCM's when she got promoted.."I'm a person who is going places....". But the dizzy heights of management don't appeal. I'm happier cutting up bits of paper in the name of language acquisition.
Do you think there's any hope for any of us?
Nope....teaching English is like getting a tattoo
or starting to shave your legs. Impossible to stop once you start.