English TeAching VersUS PRosTitUtion anD HaiR DrEssing: A ComParatIVe AnaLYsis
Sometimes you feel you might like a creative profession like hairdressing, sitting around the barber shop all day telling stories as you trim people's mullets.
Sometimes you think the glamour and excitement of the life of a prostitute might be for you.
Other times, you think that you might enjoy asking a bunch of exhausted Korean students what their favorite movies are. Man, how to decide?
English Teacher X is here to help!!
| PROSTITUTION | ENGLISH TEACHING | HAIRDRESSING | |
| Crappy salary? | Generally not, but most of it goes to one's "pimp," anyway | No, but most of it goes to one's "institute" generally. | No, but a lot of it goes for rent of chair in salon |
| Dress Code? | No -- but high heels, fishnet stockings, etc, preferred | Sometimes shirt and tie | Sometimes, might have to wear a smock or something |
| Hours? | Erratic, seasonal, usually late at night | Split-shifts, evenings, weekends | Morning ,evening or all day shifts, often weekend work |
| Pay for own training? | No | Yes | Yes |
| Helping to spread cause of global communication? | Only in the sense of "Boom-boom $50" being understood in most countries | Yes | Not any way that I can see |
| Remotely enjoyable or fulfilling? | Sometimes | Sometimes | Sometimes |
| Growth industry? | Undoubtedly | Yes | Undoubtedly |
| Hire anybody? | Judging from some I've seen, yes. | Yes (if with ceritificate) | Yes (if with training) |
| Equipment provided? | Sometimes | Usually | You'll probably buy a lot of it yourself, but some stuff is provided when you rent a space |
| Meet a lot of people? | Of course! | Yep! | Sure! |
| Surrounded by greasy people all day? | Yes | Sometimes | Probably not, and if so you'll be washing their hair yourself |
| Chance of being killed by customers? | Yes | Usually not, but it has happened | I suppose it's happened |
| Travel? | No | Yes | No |
| Advancement Opportunities? | Sort of | Sort of | Sort of |
| Pension plan? | No | No | Probably not |
| Have to listen to people talk about their boring lives and personal problems? | Yes, often | Almost always | Almost always |
| Health plan? | No | Sometimes | Sometimess |
THE WINNER: Hmm, I think it's about neck and neck between English teaching and hairdressing, but prostitution comes in a distant third! Sorry, prostitution! Better luck next time!