CASE STUDY: ENGLISH TEACHER G
ENGLISH TEACHER G is 54 years old and has been teaching English since most of you were spanking it to the lingerie section of the Sears catalogue. He's taught all over South America, the Middle East and the former Soviet Union and on January 8 he answered some questions about his considerably varied career.
How many different English teaching jobs have you had in your life?
I’ve had approximately 20 different jobs. A few were night jobs while on contract with another company in Saudi Arabia
How did you get started in the business?
I was on my way to Costa Rica to live at the beach and learn Spanish. I landed with 60 bucks and no return ticket. I looked in the paper and saw an ad for English teachers. I walked in the door and saw a bunch of good looking nubile young chicks and decided that this is what I wanted to do.
What kind of qualifications do you have?
I have a BS degree from University of Houston/downtown
A TEFL Certificate
A certificate in teaching Business English
Two courses in Accelerated Learning Techniques
Several different Publishers certificates
Which countries have you taught in, all told?
Guatemala, Costa Rica, Panama, Chile, Ecuador, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Kazakhstan, Slovakia, Russia, Ukraine
Which countries did you like the most, and which did you like the least?
Every one of the countries has good points. I have been fortunate to look on the bright side of every country.
Who have been your most venal and incompetent employers?
I wouldn’t actually say any of the people have been incompetent. Maybe they did things differently than I would have chosen. That doesn’t make them incompetent….just different.
Many teachers show up with “What’s all this bloody shite they are using, yak yak yak yak.” So you ask them about a list of their publications and they start playing with a wart on their thumb.
Now we come to bottom line responsibility. Do these complainers and “I could do better” nay sayers have any bottom line responsibilities? If the payroll doesn’t get met then people don’t get paid. People have lives to lead and it’s the owner’s responsibility to see that the money gets generated somehow. EVERYHING is the owner’s fault. No excuses. If it doesn’t get done then it’s their fault. Owners need employees to work WITH them and not AGAINST them.
Which students have been the most difficult and thankless to teach?
Students from Saudi Arabia, hands down no question. I came to Russia rather than stay there and get $5800 a month.
Dating students – yes or no? Please explain your answer.
Not while the student sits in your class. Parents, husbands and wives do not send their children and/or spouses to an English school to have a teacher humping their leg. If they are not your student anymore then there is interest from the student and it can’t be seen as the teacher pressuring the student.
What’s your favorite way to kill ten minutes or so with a difficult class?
Take the class roll and talk to each student as you take the roll.
If you had it all to do over again, would you have decided to become a veterinarian?
I would probably gone more into another kind of Acting. I consider ESL teaching to be acting. You just have to have different training to do it.
Where would you like to go next?
I’m always looking for jobs from the moment I arrive at a job site. Africa or Asia would be nice.
Got any particularly horrifying stories you’d like to tell?
I have been mugged in Kazakhstan and spend 8 days in the hospital. I thought I was going to die in the Hospital and nobody would call the American Consulate to tell them I was there.
I have been held up by Machine Gun Death squads in El Salvador.
I have lived through a Rebel Bombing campaign in Guatemala City. I know the sound of a large car bomb.
I have been on the edge of a cliff in the mountains of Saudi Arabia with crumbling rocks under my feet. It was an extremely dangerous situation and could have easily resulted in a 250 ft. fall.
I have been trapped underwater with reverse blockage in my ear. The only way to live was to surface and blow out your eardrum. No fun under any circumstances.
While working in Saudi Arabia I was married to this chick from Costa Rica who plotted for two years on how to get as much as she could in a divorce. She got it all. Luckily she was fun in bed so at least I got some great pussy.